Cedric Wood's Journal

Dudes. Seriously. What is going on with this whole school? You're all being so intensely sad and I'm worried someone's going to rip out some sad American Muggle music and start sobbing.

All right so maybe some of you are sobbing already. Seriously, it's freaking me out. Stop it.

Now, here are some alternatives to your intensely sad behavior:
-Take up a hobby! Suggested: drinking, kicking stuff, Quidditch, Cedric Wood
-Find a new obsession. Suggested: Cedric's manly abs
-Make fun of some lame kids! Suggested: Ro honestly can't grow any facial hair and it's HILARIOUS.
-Treat yourself to a nice cup of cocoa. It makes everything better. But fuck you if you think I'm making it for you.
-Strip Quidditch. Enough said.

Also, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? Cheer up! The sky isn't falling, is it? If it is, well fuck. Better protect my wonderfulness, yeah? But seriously, if you don't cheer up soon, I'm pretty sure that all of you will burst into awful, womanly tears and I won't be able to contain myself.

[Hexed to Rohan and Trinity]

WHY DIDN'T YOU HANG OUT WITH ME? DON'T THINK I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT YOUR SHENANIGANS WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO ARE IN HUMONGOUS TROUBLE AND YOU KNOW IT!!!!!